Will you ever notice if consecutive 3 days didn't text you, facebook, blog, twitter, go home etc ? Will you worried? Well, I really tired of my life. I tired to accept this kind of outcome when I put in so much efforts, loves and cares. I love you too much till I can cry for you everyday. I put on mask everyday when I'm out. However, I'm a lousy actor, I couldn't hide my emotions well. I cried in front of people. I don't like people to see the weakness side of mine I swear. But I can't controlled it and tears rolled down automatically. The days when I saw you and couldn't talk to you, my heart sank. Why things turn out in this way? From friends to lovers to strangers? I really don't want things to turn out like this. It's suffering I swear. I really hope I can avoid all these stuffs. When I dream about you, I called Amanda, teared and teared. I really can't forget you. I know time heals everything. You know you're the first guy I cried so much for and wanted patch back so badly in my life? I've never cried over a guy so much and so long after breakup. Why can't you just give me any chance? I don't deserve the chance? Anything happen to you, yes I can't help you solve. At least I want be there for you, supporting you mentally and physically. But you told me " I don't need you to" . You know how sad am I after seeing and knowing this? And you told people, "within 3 months, you confirm kick me out" why you have to say until like this? If you don't love me at all, don't come jio me in the first place. You should know at that moment , I just broken with my ex boyf as he 2 timed me. I've phobia. You gave me hope, you told me you will help me overcome the phobia etc. But blow after blow. You think I'm a robot? If you have no confidence in loving me, then don't come jio me. Gave me hope and crashed it. Brought me to the very top of the mountain and kicked me off the mountain so roughly. It hurts, deeeeeeeply. It really hurts. But still, I don't blame you. I just not a good girlfriend I guess? If I'm , we won't become like this. My fault, I'm sorry.
I'm really tired, very tired. But that doesn't mean I've given up on everything. I need time alone. So I hope, if I really MIA, you will worry and look for me. I guess you won't. So, I don't put so much hopes. My hp password is still the same as before. ******** , I really love you alot alot alot. More than anyone expected.
How I wish the dream is true. But it will never ever come true........
If one day I really MIA, please take care of yourself. Don't keep smoking. Bad for health.... Have enough sleep ! And rmb, I'm loving you always.